CAN I?

q.jpgWe should all agree that waking up in the morning January to December then another year isn’t a guarantee, looking at the daily schedules, goals and expectations and thinking about it is a whole different thing. How big should a dream be to get you going time and again, how can one stop thinking of how the next step is steep and sloppy, what makes it all worse is the thought and worry which never change or help a thing. I look in the mirror and I can’t help but wonder “Lord, oh my Lord, can I? Many would think me crazy, and others just a confused lazy soul and yes some would actually think me proud, but all I will say to all is this, you could but will you?

Believe me, am asking, honestly striving to find the possibility in yet another event. Another dream! I look out my window of hope and all I can see is a cloudy night. I get the courage to open the knob of the behind door so no one notices how am not ready for today but then it’s all foggy and mist outside. Get back in to get that heavy jacket on and when I look out my window of faith and all I can see is fear staring right back at me. Can you even make 10 steps, neither can you breathe by the 11th, never the less it has to be me, I started it, I alone see the vision most clearly. Beat myself up again, talk sense into myself,” you have to do what you got to do”. Forgive me for asking, but I still will ask, can I?

My world slowly crumbling, my dreams steadily fading, and my faith urgently in need of service. Yet as fate may have it, you got to do this first, finish it and pick up the next, so really my life as a gladiator has just begun, it’s a battle which seems to be for survival this time round actually, a thousand dead besides me, twice as much staring asking me how special I think of myself, assuring me that I can never get anywhere near what I see clearly and very much alive in front of me. This time round the shields have been stripped off me by fellow comrades who see me to be having more than I need, besides they seem to see me struck before than when their fate wills.

My blade is like frozen steel in my hands, it only swings to cut when its blunt, and for once the mocking cheers seem to come from a distant land, like whispers to a deaf ear on a blind man. I seem to be crawling this time round, couldn’t hold off the falling debris along this stumbling block, It’s not uncertainty that am choosing to embrace but I seem not be shifting from this position this time round and where am from, it seems a smooth slope, do you think I will?

Do you think I have it in me to win, to soar the skies, to excel..

Though my armor is broken and my sword is frozen, do you still see the victor you once knew or will I now be a victory song once sung, a voice slowly fading to a whisper, a whisper that will never be told.

Many of us have reached this point  so often, appoint of confusion, fear, a point of utter despair, where everything is so unclear, so skeptical.

But in my moments of weakness, that point before I drop my sword and lay waste all my values, when the helper seems all but near, I am reminded of these great words.Though the fig trees maybe not figs and there maybe no grapes on the vine. There maybe no olives growing and no food growing in the fields (Habakkuk 3:17). There maybe no sheep in the pens and cattle in the barns but still I will praise the lord I will rejoice in god my savior. possible

And so I encourage you my friend, sometimes the picture does not add up, sometimes life seems like a waste of time does but know one thing is for sure. He is faithful, and when all is said and done and the final picture before is displayed. It might not be what you expected, but it will be beautiful. So dream big, get up, walk, run if you must for he who begun the good work in you is faithful to see it to completion.

BY NAMYALO SANDRA

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

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She is in her final year of her first degree, Bachelors of science in Mechanical Engineering.

She looks at things differently, you might think she has a different type of mirror,the kind of which one looks through and sees what exactly you aspire for and go through that mirror and be exactly that image, but its not like, was just brought up to deliver 100% that even 99% was not an option. Isn’t that inspiring!

 

Unfading Beauty

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (NLT) -1 Peter 3:4
We spend a lot of time focusing on our outward appearance such as perfecting our hairstyle, improving our physique, selecting the right clothes. In all, a lot of thought goes into creating just the right look. Do we spend the same amount of time cultivating our inner beauty? We know what inner beauty looks like…patience, generosity, peace-loving, fearless, and filled with a silent strength. Are we spending more time worrying about the color of our teeth instead of the kind of words that come out of our mouth? Ultimately our words are a reflection of our heart.
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DEAR JUNIOR

45Being Mr Muwanguzi’s son, I write from life experience not imagination. I just love it that God didn’t give us a chance to choose parents because He gives you the exact parents to make sure you fit in the society he wants you to be in.

One day I will be holding you in my two hands trying to find the smallest part on you that resembles mine, so you know that’s when the battle of making a man I wish you to be will begin, I pray to God to remind me that you aren’t me but you are you always. Am sure your mother won’t have trouble with who is carrying you for immunization tomorrow, then to church on Sunday and then on your first day of school.

I hope you choose a seat in class which will define your confidence not out of inferiority or feeling you are the smallest in class. When you get time for break I hope you go out to venture not to choose a game according to gender, because you will be brought up to know that all people have full capabilities. It’s only all about trying out our curiosities irrespective of the gender, so if you want to jump rope instead of kicking a ball, it will be very fine my dear and please don’t be scared to trip and hurt your knees, because you would have not walked if you didn’t fall. In any case scars are a sign that you survived and still live.

If when you grow older, instead of playing basketball you want to play handball or be a dancer, remember that it is not just games for girls, and if you don’t believe me ask the guys who spend hours in a studio rehearsing with those video vixens, it’s about hard work and passion not chilling and taking pictures to post on snap chat and IG. In all these many words, I only intend to advice you to pick a sport and stick with it, if you like hitting people, do boxing, never pick a sport because you would like impress girls, if you want to be yourself look inside you and find the right sport.

When you meet a girl and most probably you won’t feel butterflies in your stomach but you might get goose pimples, don’t hit her, push her or bully her because your friend did something similar to the other girl; heartlessness and violence is never a form of expressing love. Instead learn to like her sport, go listen to her terrible voice as she practices for her Sunday school show. If she doesn’t like you and your company don’t take it too far and personal, keep your distance and seek company from she who gives you one. I hope that never kills your self-esteem.

When you find school not that interesting as it’s emphasized but rather stressing and boring when you are studying for tests or studying for your finals, I will remind you that grades don’t define your intelligence. And I will then teach you your worth and let you figure out whatever it is you need to figure out. We shall then go scouting and mountain climbing to see the beauty of nature and I hope you get inspired looking forward to the next challenge of life.images1

When you are in your teens and a have a crush on a girl who wears same clothes as you, no makeup and has no girl-friends, do not worry; bring her home. I want to meet her and give her a hug and love her as if she were my own daughter. If she actually makes your heart hurt, you do not have to be ashamed, when you decide you are ready to tell me I will be waiting with open arms to pull you in and tell you I still love you and tap you on the back. And that way it will make it easier for me to buy you both presents.Please know that it’s never okay to be gay and if someone judges you, it’s okay because no one is born gay and gay is against God’s creation, African culture and values and so they won’t be welcome in our society and home.

Time will come when you want to experiment with alcohol and drugs, I will understand and support you, I hope that this doesn’t happen until you are at least 15 so I may give you your first drink and feed you water after you drink it too fast and it comes flying back up. Know that if I get you smoking cigarettes or trying chemical drugs I will smack your ass. In saying that, please do not do drugs because you do not understand them and trust me when I say you do not need to.

I hope you always surround yourself with love because love comes naturally, always laugh and make people laugh. I hope you have the kind of smile that turns cold hearts warm, hope you get to know more about yourself, capabilities and what you’re good at. I pray even the most hateful words will teach you more about love and how to give a helping hand where need be and never be selfish. Learn to forgive instantly, but understand that forgiveness is more for you, and don’t mistake it for approval. Be proud of being passionate. Be kind and respectful to people, even if they are your subordinates. Learn how to love and accept yourself so much that you no longer notice who doesn’t.

When you don’t listen to me I will ground you, make you miss you next game practise, and later will talk to you about life, boys and girls. I will take walks with you and play with you the best game you will have taught me, perhaps I will bribe you into loving to watching Arsenal play without winning trophies or watch al Jazeera BBC, CNN, or NAT GEO to know more about life and its cruelty out there, because most of these channels make it seem like the whole world is insecure and on fire, which is partly true.

I will teach you to never ever judge a person during their bad moments, we all have them, even you, and that does not make any of us bad, it just makes us human. Please for me, get to know your warning signs so that when these moments occur you know and you can control your actions, in knowing that, no one can make you angry.

When your 18+ and I happen to teach you anything I will teach you three things; I will teach you to be gentle, I will teach you the value of the word ‘no’ so that when you hear it you will not question it, and lastly I will teach you that not everything is about winning, sometimes it is okay to lose because losing is a part of life, and when you do will tap on your back hold your hand and tell you how proud of you I am because you tried. Please remember that perfection is like a myth, and the saying practice makes perfect is a lie, but practice does make proficiency and that is close enough.

When it comes to dressing remember these three words; function before form. Dress comfortably when you should, smarten up when you have to. Remember jeans are your best friend because sometimes pants just don’t do it. Make sure your pants are ALWAYS above your hips. When you visit someone in their home always take your hat off when you enter their home and never, ever, wear a baseball cap at the dinner table or so help me God I will burn all that you own.

When you fall in love, let yourself fall hard, be stupid in love, but no so stupid you can’t redeem yourself. When this happens know your boundaries and draw them clearly, and know her boundaries so that you can help her draw them as well. In saying that, no girl is perfect, but fall in love with her imperfections and she’ll be pretty close to perfect. A few things you need to know about women; one – they can smell dishonesty a mile away, so unless you’re trying to protect their feelings never lie to them. Two – they may want to be treated like equals, but a little chivalry goes a long way, learn how to compliment them, they love that. Showing emotion is not a sign of weakness. It is okay to cry, even in front of your friends. That’s the thing about real friends, they will always support you, no matter what.

School is not for everyone, education however is. Always seek to understand how a person got to where they are now, and learn from their back story. The best education comes from travel, from making mistakes and learning from them. Your grades do not depict your future, they are merely keys to open doors in life, your degree does not determine if you are smart or not, your actions do. Always remember that your efforts and the skills and traits you pick up along the way of life are what will pave your road to success. In saying that, it is okay to pick the path less trodden, it will allow for more freedom, but be aware a mentor may be hard to come by.

If war comes and you want to fight it I will sleep with clenched fists until you come home to me, and every month I will send you a care package and be more proud of you because you love your country and chose the path of the better good at the expense of your life. If when a war comes and you don’t want to go, I will sleep soundly. Remember you are allowed to be soft, you do not have to be strong, and you do not have to be a solider to be a patriot or Kbring peace to your land.

Question everything, never stop asking ‘why?’ even when it drives me crazy. Always question authority, but promise to do it with respect, in saying that age or status does not warrant respect, character does. Never be afraid to question anybody, this is how you will learn right from wrong. In saying that you will only ever be as right as the facts behind you. Always speak your mind unless you’re drunk but know why you are doing it, always know that sometimes silence speaks louder than words.

Never give up, no matter what. Giving up is the only thing you should never do, however, taking a step back is not giving up, it’s a tactical retreat. Remember that winning isn’t everything, but always bring the fight to them, don’t ever let them bring it to you unless you know you can absolutely win. Get a job when you can, every time you buy something with your money it will mean something more. Do not be afraid of a 9 to 5 job. It may seem like a drag but it is not. Work will never be finished, but dinner will get cold so come home and eat, if you’re going to be late call ahead, so I know.

Never seek my approval of your success in whatever field though this might come naturally, if it does always remember that I admire more the fighter in you no matter the size of the medal you will bring home always. I will always be waiting for you to come home with your son to go out on that favorite spot on the other mountain, and start telling you how he so much looks like you.
Yours truly future Dad.

DEAR FUTURE DAUGHTER

isHello my love, it seems so far from now thou God alone knows when the exact time it will be, until when you will be able to put letters together, hopefully I will have heard someone call me daddy already.
I pray to God that you grow up with both parents because I like what I feel with my parents around me with all that love and that we actually get time to show you the beauty of being a child and beauty of the world without being caught up with the crazy daily routines of this world. With all this I hope you won’t be waiting around the corner for someone to appreciate you and make you feel that warmth of being loved and wanted.

INFATUATION
I hope you grow up in a home and be the child parented by society, when you are 8+ years old and some boy pushes you down in the playground or in that swimming pool after he heard that being mean/rude to a girl means you like her I will wrap you in my arms with a warm hug and make you feel loved to teach you that never accept heartlessness and violence as a form of love. When you find school that hostile and you’re stressed out because you have tests tomorrow and you are not finished studying, will teach you that grades don’t define your intelligence.

I will teach you your worth but let you figure out whatever it is you need to figure out.We shall then take a camping vacation and we see the beauty of nature and I hope you get inspired looking forward to the next one. There are many sports and ventures out there I pray you pick up some and develop passion for it and helps you develop self-esteem.
When you are 12+ and get your first crush (boy), I will remind you that butterflies are good at such a young age and you should enjoy them while they last because you will one day fall in love and not have a grain of butterflies in there, and remind you that butterflies are different with love and that it’s still a good feeling that you shouldn’t run from.

When he breaks your heart I will give you a hug and remind you that I will never break your heart and that it’s okay to cry, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak but you are taking the first step to healing. And will teach you that somethings don’t last but to never close yourself from love because of the risk of getting hurt and will take you for ice cream and show you that ice cream makes the clock tick faster and I hope you realize that you still have all the broken pieces and you have it in you to redefine the word broken.

I hope you are always surrounded by love, always laughing and making people laugh, hope you have the kind of smile that turns cold hearts warm, hope you get to know more about yourself, capabilities and what you’re go at, that even the most hateful words will teach you more about love. But when you don’t listen to me I will still hug you anyway, talk to you about life ,boys and girls, will take walks with you and play with you the best game you will have taught me, perhaps I will bribe you into watching Arsenal play or Al Jazeera BBC, CNN, or NAT GEO.

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LIFE
When time comes I will let you go, so you can start your life without me, take life on by yourself and learn from your mistakes. I’ll look on with admiration and fall for the person you would have become. Then I will miss you and miss you more than you will ever know and notice.
THE FUTURE.
As a product of this society I hope you know deeply that your soul is that unshakable place that isn’t rattled by rejection, loss and ego. If you keep that in your mind, the battle of your life will be mostly won.
LOVE;
It’s not all about skin color as long as paints your lives with patience, sacrifice, vulnerability and tenderness.
I would care less how he votes as long as he wakes up early morning and daily elects you to a place of honor in your home and a place of reverence in his heart
I don’t care if he is a Manchester United fan as long as he takes you to that boring game/venture you are talented in.
He wouldn’t care to follow his wallet as long as he follows his heart and it always leads him back to you.
I don’t care if he goes to gym as long as he gives you space to exercise strength that is in your heart.
In the end if you come across a man like that and he and I have nothing in common, we will have the most important thing in common: YOU

Never purposely go out of your way to emphasize your beauty, take more photos than you would usually do, just so he can know what he is missing. Honestly that guy is not meant for you. If you can trust your worth, you will be attractive in the most important sense of the meaning, you will attract a man who is capable of interest and who wants to spend his only life investing all of his interest in you.

The moment you start thinking of how to keep him interested, you cease to be the beautiful person that you already are, if he wants a girl because he is willing to open her legs to him than her mind and soul, by all means hold that door wide open for him. I guarantee you’ll lose yourself in the process.
But that’s never an excuse to lose the galaxies in your eyes, and wear more mascara just so some dumb boy can fall at your feet again, as tempting as it sounds, it’s not worth losing yourself in the process, the only thing you should do to keep him interested is to be you. You are never too old to run home.
I will be waiting to see you and you as much
Future Dad

Would you please pray for me?

Our father in heaven

Kyozo_Jr

I woke up with a great sense of foreboding this morning and try as I might, I couldn’t shake it off. I was still thinking to myself that perhaps it was my phobia for showering cold water that was messing up my otherwise good morning when my phone beeped. It was a text message; from you. A very long text message: you said that you were a mess and your world was crumbling, you were drowning in a sea of misery as the waves of depression kept hitting at you, you were at the edge of the cliff, barely holding on for dear life. You were tired, disillusioned and exhausted; you just couldn’t take it anymore. The despair, the anger, the frustration and all the disappointment; they were all becoming too much to bear. Each time you looked for a way out, all you ever found was a dead end…

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